Community Comments

"The following story appeared in The State Journal, Frankfort, KY, on Sept. 20, 2006. It was written by Molly Williamson, a former reporter at the newspaper."

Parents taught to talk about sex

Like many parents, Monica Smith felt uncomfortable talking to her 8- and 12-year-old sons about sex.

She knew its important to be proactive, to push abstinence, but she needed some tips.

Smith was one of more than 20 parents to attend Tuesdays How to Talk to Your Teen About Sex program at Elkhorn Middle School.

Representatives from Heritage of Kentucky Sexual Abstinence Program, a character-based abstinence education program used in Elkhorn Middle, Bondurant and Second Street schools, led the event.

They explained what the organization is, a little about some sexually transmitted diseases, the importance of a parents role in the childs decision-making process and how it is never too early to begin discussing sex and abstinence.

In addition to parent meetings, Heritage of Kentucky spends several days in the classrooms teaching students the benefits of abstaining from sex outside of marriage, developing self-esteem, decision-making and includes information about condoms and sexually transmitted diseases from skin-to-skin contact. Condoms are not 100 percent effective against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, said William Mack of Heritage of Kentucky.

Sexually transmitted diseases are particularly a concern in Franklin County right now because the Franklin County Health Departments annual report showed high rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea, especially in young adults and African Americans.

The rates were way above the state average in both the 15- to 19-year-old and the 20- to 24-year-old age groups, said Deborah Howes Fleming, director of community health education. However, the countys teen pregnancy rate was down.

The department will develop a task force to create a long-range plan to keep the teen pregnancy rate down and to lower the sexually transmitted disease rate, Fleming said.

For now, the clinic and health education teams are working on an immediate plan to lower the instances of chlamydia and gonorrhea, Fleming said. They plan to offer more educational classes and host community forums to discuss the problem and raise awareness about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.

Rebecca Joseph was not taking any chances.

I dont want to be a grandma, she said as to why she attended Tuesdays program.

Joseph began talking to her daughter about sex at age 6 and then revisited the issue at age 7 when she had another baby. Now her daughter is 11.

Mary Barber has a 12-year-old son. She gave birth to him when she was 14.

If I had this when I was in his grade, I would have been more aware of the consequences, Barber said about the program. The first time I had sex, I got pregnant. If you have enough information, you think twice before having sex.

Peer pressure plays a lot into kids decisions, Barber said.

They are barraged with sexual images online, on television, in music lyrics and they hear about sex on the school bus and from their friends, Mack said.

However, parents are the most influential people in a childs decision to have sex, he said.

Even when you dont think they are listening, they are listening, Mack said. Even when you are not present, your voice is present in the back of their mind.

Parents should use themselves as living examples and not be uncomfortable or ashamed of their past, Mack said. They need to find meaningful times and ways to introduce the topic and make sure children know they can come to their parents with concerns or questions.

Smith said even though her boys are only 8 and 12, it is not too early to begin sex talks.

The consequences of STDs and pregnancy are things they flat out are not ready for, Smith said. Mommys not ready for them either.

She said she has a hard enough time believing she has a child old enough for middle school.

However, sixth grade is not that young, Mack said.

In fact, in 2000-2001, the school had 10 reported pregnancies, some in the sixth grade. That is when counselor Beckee Locker switched to the Heritage Method. Since then, the school has only had two reported pregnancies.

Talking to children about sex is an issue that cuts across grade level, said Rose Lee, who came out to learn how to help her children and how to bring the Heritage Method to her church.

She said she was shocked to hear during Macks presentation that he encountered parents who did not know painful urination was a symptom of a sexually transmitted disease. She said parents should take the initiative to learn about sexually transmitted diseases so they will be prepared to talk to their kids.

She also said she was appalled at how few parents attended Tuesdays event.

(The attendance) does not even represent 10 percent of our student body, Lee said. I would expect more parents to come out and find out how to support their children. I commend the parents who did come out.